7 Negotiation Best Practices |

A few weeks ago I was asked to write an article on negotiation skills. And the fact is that most of us will use it at some point in our life no matter what we do for a living. As an example: last week my husband had to use it when he bought a new car. And just yesterday my 5 year old daughter was negotiating with me about why she didn?t want the hiking boots that I bought her but rather wanted yet another pair of white tennis shoes. During my years as lawyer and later as change consultant I used it extensively to achieve my career and business objectives. And today I use it almost daily when dealing with suppliers, joint venture partners or customers.

In writing this article I have revisited the best practices that I have followed in my career and personal life, but also what I have learned from what I believe to be experts in the field. This article is about the ?what to?s? of negotiation and not the more tactical ?how to?s? of persuasion during negotiations. Due to the length, I will discuss persuasion in a future article.? So here?s a brief summary of the perspectives that I have gained on negotiating in the last 20 or so years.

1.)? Clarity

It all starts with clarity. In any negotiation process, there are 3 important elements. You, Them and the Relationship. Clarity about all three these elements are essential in successful negotiations. So let?s take a closer look at these elements and what you should be clear about:

YOU: You have to know what you want and clearly communicate it. What is your bottom line. What do you want to achieve and why.

THEM: You have to know what the other party wants, why they want it, what their challenges are, how and if you can solve it and what their options are. Don?t assume you know what they want. Ask them what they want and then listen to what they tell you.

RELATIONSHIP: You have to know and be clear on how your relationship could look and develop, moving forward. How working/being together, you can make something bigger and better. In other words; how do you envision your relationship with the other party going forward. Then as soon as you have clarity about it, then clearly communicate it to the other party.

For example: a customer recently wanted to start a new business venture. He found an ideal location for what he wanted to do right next to a health spa. The spa would be a great add on to what he offered, without having to fork out significantly more money to set it up. He also knew some of the main challenges that the spa owner was struggling with. So we looked at ways in which he could use the spa to compliment his business and how he could help the owner of the spa solve some of his main challenges. Then when he had his plan worked out, he approached the owner of the spa with a proposal painting the most fabulous picture of how together these two businesses could create the most extraordinary customer experience and thereby generating more business for both of them. The spa owner was so impresses by the clarity and fresh approach of my customer?s vision that they are now in the process of signing the final contracts.

2.)? Be present

Be there in the moment. Be mentally and physically engaged in the now. When you?re walking into a room to negotiate something, then be present there in the moment and only focus on what you do there in that moment. Don?t think about all sorts of other things. I know it can be challenging. We all have loads of things to deal with each day. But being really present when entering into negotiations will serve you and it will serve the other party.

Kids are wonderful examples. When my daughter wants to negotiate something important with me, she takes my head into her little hands and stares into my eyes before posing her question. That way, she totally engages with me physically and emotionally. And if she sees that I look away (like over her shoulder to my husband) she would say ?mommy, mommy, mommy? just as many times as necessary for me to be present with her and focus on what she wants to say.

Now I?m not suggesting that you start taking people?s heads into your hands to ensure that you are physically and mentally engaged with them. That might just get you into trouble with some people. But do try and practice that level of presence when negotiating. Be there completely. Physically and mentally.

3.) Be prepared.

Do your homework. This may seem like stating the obvious, but for some reason many people don?t do it. They enter into negotiations and are so focused on what they want, that they don?t even think or acknowledge what the other party wants or needs. They don?t even know what they are competing against or what the other party?s options are. Remember the three important elements. You, Them and the Relationship? Negotiating should be about looking for a win-win-win situation. You win, they win and the relationship wins. You cannot possibly envision a longer term relationship if you are not even interested in finding out what is important to the other party you are dealing with and what options they have to consider. So do your homework, so that you can ask appropriate questions and then be quiet and listen??.

4.) Listen

If you want to figure out what is important to the other party, then it is important to listen to what they are saying. Again, this may seem like stating the obvious, but I?ve dealt with hundreds of suppliers and shadowed hundreds of customers to observe what they could improve in their businesses, just to find out one of their main challenges is that they don?t know how to shut up and listen. They make loads of assumptions and based on that, start telling the customer what they think the customer wants and what they can offer.

Several years ago I was managing a multi-million dollar project. Three million dollars of the overall project budget was to implement a specific system, business processes and equipment. I interviewed 5 potential suppliers. And out of the 5, only one took the time to really listen to what we were looking for and brainstormed with me what it would mean for the business moving forward. Needless to say, we went for the supplier whom we felt really understood our challenges, business demands and could support us in moving our business forward.

5.) Be enthusiastic

In my opinion nothing sells like enthusiasm. It is contagious. If you just come across as mildly interested in whatever it is that you are negotiating about, chances are that you will not be able to persuade the other party about your product, service or whatever it is that you want to achieve. I mean if you don?t even seem to be really interested in what it is that you are negotiating about, how do you expect the other party to be interested and enthusiastic about it.

6.) Honor and respect the other party

Successful negotiators focus on solving the problem, which is: How can we conclude an agreement that respects the needs of both parties? Obsessing over the other negotiator?s personality, or over issues that are not directly pertinent to making a deal, can sabotage a negotiation. If someone is rude or difficult to deal with, try to understand their behavior and don?t take it personally.

7.) Know when to walk away

As mentioned above, negotiating should be about establishing a win-win-win situation. If that does not seem to be possible, be willing to let it go and walk away.

I hope that this post serves you and welcome your input and questions.

Last, but not least, I want to thank Avdhesh Goel, whom I met on LinkedIn, for requesting this article.

Warm regards

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